[an error occurred while processing this directive]
; ) Be Dope archive *  icon tarot *  qJLG * haiku
interviews *  bookstore *  newsletter

this domain (bedope.com) is for sale. only obscene amounts of cash considered.
make an offer


8 February, 2000 4.45pm pst | Muon Edition
JLG Dons Disclaimer Designs
JLG's new uniform

BE DOPE NEWS (BDN) Along with being famous for founding Be, Inc., CEO Jean-Louis Gassée is well-known for his colorful turn of phrase. Ever since Be became a publicly traded company, Be officials have been careful to append the standard "Forward-Looking Statements" disclaimer to most of his written work, most notably his signature articles in the Be Newsletter. Be legal counsel recently decided to extend this legal protection to cover anything Gassée might utter in public.

"While Gassée's remarks are usually highly entertaining and/or exciting, they do tend to give us folks in the legal department 'the shaking heebie-jeebies', as we like to call it," said Be's general counsel Dan Johnston.

While written documents are easily reviewed before publishing, Gassée's "shoot from the hip" manner of speaking is highly unpredictable. After several meetings, the legal department came up with a perfect solution.

Several articles of clothing were custom-made for Gassée, including the above-pictured tshirt, ties, suit jackets, vests, boxers and dress shirts. Each bears the "Forward-Looking Statements Disclaimer" text, thus absolving JLG and Be, Inc. of responsibility taken by anyone based on what JLG might say about anything but historical facts (i.e., statements that are "forward-looking").

Surprisingly, JLG has taken a liking to the unique clothing, and has already found it useful in both business and personal situations.

"It cuts down on the amount of paperwork I have to sign and warning I must give when talking to other companies and the press," explained Gassée. "Plus, the other night I had to cancel a dinner engagement. Fortunately, I was able to get out of it rather easily by referring to the tshirt I was wearing at the time and pointing out that the dinner plans had been extremely 'forward looking'".

Gassée would not comment on the speculation that he may simply have the disclaimer tatooed on his forearm.

vline

New Stories
New stories by the author of Be Dope can be found at Segfault.org

e Villa Celebration
Did you know all of Be Dope's e Villa stories are available via one handy page?

Be Dope Merchandise
These remaining tshirts are sure to be a collector's item someday. Buy now.


Home | qJLG | Icon Tarot | Story Archive | Interviews | Bookstore | Newsletter | About | Advertise | Contact