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28 September, 1999 11.28pm pdt
The GAP Proclaims: Everybody In BeOS
Hot GAP Babe Commands You To Use BeOS

BE DOPE NEWS (BDN) In a surprise move, clothing superpower The GAP followed up their "Everybody in Vests" and "Everybody in Leather" ad campaigns by proclaiming "Everybody in BeOS". As billboards and television commercials began to saturate the minds of American consumers, BeOS sales have skyrocketed.

"The GAP is always tuned in to what's hip and edgy before anyone else," said Gap Inc. President and CEO Millard Drexler. "We've been watching BeOS for some time and decided the time is right to clue in consumers to this computer phenomenom."

Gap Inc. recently dabbled in the world of computers by adding iCEO Steve Jobs to its board of directors. Jobs stepped down a few days later.

"Well, Steve certainly has a sense of style when it comes to translucent plastic, but we just couldn't deal with his fashion sense," explained Drexler. "[Be, Inc. CEO] Gassée on the other hand was wearing leather pants before anyone else and has recently been spotted adhering to our 'Everyone in Vests' policy."

Starting Monday, BeOS will be available for purchase at all GAP stores. A special BeOS/leather vest bundle will cost $79.95.

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