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15 October, 5.45pm pdt
Be: The Incredible, Edible OS

BE DOPE NEWS (BDN) Be, Inc. announced today that starting with version R4, the BeOS would ship on a revolutionary new medium: an edible CD-ROM.

Frustrated by useless surplusses of older versions of the BeOS and thousands of useless CD-ROMs from other obsolted software around the office, one group of BeOS employees decided to make some changes.

After a year and a half of research, their vision was realized: a CD-ROM that stores data and tastes great.

"We will not hesitate to adopt the EM-CD-ROM (Eat Me-CD-ROM)," said Be, Inc. CEO Jean-Louis Gassée. "Now, when our users upgrade they can turn that old CD-ROM into a delicious meal, or perhaps donate it to the charity of their choice and receive a tax deduction."

The successful development of the EM-CD-ROM was not without it difficulties, however.

"In retrospect, our biggest mistake was using fellow Be engineers to test market the EM-CD-ROM," said one Be engineer, wearing a t-shirt reading "Eat Me" below a picture of the new medium. "As it turns out, not only will they eat EM-CD-ROMs with a less than optimal taste, they will in fact eat regular CD-ROMs."

After a new round of testing with "regular people", the EM-CD-ROM was perfected and beta tested in coffe shops in the menlo park area.

Current flavors are geared towards those in the computer industry: Pizza, Burrito, Vague Chinese Food, Coke, Coffee, Twinkie and Mountain Dew. Other flavors are in the development process.

Be, Inc. is expected to split the EM-CD-ROM group off into a separate company, which will make the technology available to other software manufacturers.

"One shipment of AOL CDs would be enough to feed several African villages for a year," added Gassée.

vline

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