BE DOPE NEWS (BDN) Just one week away from the release of BeOS 5 Personal Edition (aka Free Version, SneakyVersion, BeerEdition and Crack-like Addictive Version), U.S. President Clinton has declared banks, federal offices and other government businesses will be closed on March 28, due to the massive slowdown in both the Net and worker productivity the release of the freely downloadable version of BeOS 5 will bring.

"First, the Net will be clogged with folks downloading BeOS 5," explained Clinton. "Then, everyone will be playing with it, downloading cool apps and whatnot - not a lot of work will be done. May as well declare it a day off."

Several high-tech businesses have taken a cue from Clinton and granted their employees a day off.

"These guys are the best in the business and as a result they want the best technology out there," said one Silicon Valley dot com company. "So, we let them indulge for a day - it only benefits us in the end".

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