; ) Be Dope archive *  icon tarot *  qJLG * haiku
interviews *  bookstore *  newsletter

visit mikepop.net for more info about Mike Popovic

9 June, 1999 2.34pm pdt
BeOS Meets, Deletes Jar Jar

BE DOPE NEWS (BDN) Acting swiftly to fill an obvious niche, Be engineers added one final touch to BeOS 4.5 (Genki) before declaring it Golden Master: the anti-Jar Jar Binks Media Node. This node allows BeOS users to filter out the controversial Phantom Menance sidekick dynamically, improving the Episode I experience for many.

"Well I was only going to watch this movie 30 or 40 times because of Jar Jar," said one Star Wars fan dressed as Obi-Wan Kenobi, "but now I can watch it at least 100 times or so."

The special media node edits any appearance of or reference to the computer-generated character from the media stream as it passes through the operating system. So by passing a signal from a DVD player or VCR through the BeOS before displaying it to the viewer, one would never know Jar Jar ever existed (if it wasn't for everyone complaining about him).

Audiences reacted enthusiastically during a special screening at a movie theatre in Moutain View that experimented with the technology.

"We now find that theatres showing Episode I with Jar Jar Filtering are twice as popular as the unedited Episode I theatres," reported a theatre manager.

Unlike several "patch" fixes that have emerged (which remove Jar Jar Binks specifically from Episode I), the filtering method is infinitely more versatile.

"This media node removes Jar Jar not only from Episode I, but from Phantom Menance and Taco Bell commercials, newscasts and any future movies Mr. Lucas might decide to include him in," explained a Be engineer.

A Net Positive add-on that will filter out the endless parade of Jar Jar Binks story (including this one) is in the works.


New Stories
New stories by the author of Be Dope can be found at Segfault.org

e Villa Celebration
Did you know all of Be Dope's e Villa stories are available via one handy page?

Be Dope Merchandise
These remaining tshirts are sure to be a collector's item someday. Buy now.

Home | qJLG | Icon Tarot | Story Archive | Interviews | Bookstore | Newsletter | About | Advertise | Contact