Company Announces Currency Stock Split|
Be Inc. (NASDAQ:BEOS) today announced a 1:1000 currency stock split, in which all BEOS shares were converted from dollars to Zorkmids, a mythical currency with a cult following. Wall Street reactions were recklessly enthusiastic.
BEOS, which had been trading at about 50 cents, immediately jumped to 500 Zorkmids, which made lots of people feel better.
"I got this stock at 6 [dollars] and held onto it, believing it would eventually go up," posted one investor on a stock message board. "These days just seeing that '.50' was so depressing. Imagine my pride when I woke up today and saw a big '500' greeting me."
BEOS shot up an additional 9,000 Zorkmids (Z*9,000) as an influx of new traders attempted to achieve what one described as "a high score".
"I could not believe how quickly this apparantly new breed of trader registered and executed trades," said an e*trade official. "We have never seen anyone type so quickly".
NASDAQ declared a temporary halt to all trading in BEOS as analysts downloaded old interactive fiction games in an attempt to evaluate the Zorkmid. The halt is expected to be short, assured NASDAQ officials, noting Wall Street analysts are experts in areas that have very little to do with reality.
Be Inc. also announced a projected expenditure of $318,000 for the next quarter for expenses related to the building of a minting machine to produce the Zorkmids and the purchase of the rights from Activision. Reportedly, several ailing dotcoms have approached Be to discuss adopting Zorkmid technology.
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Written by mike popovic <firstname.lastname@example.org> [ Author Info ]