Just weeks away from its launch, foes of the Redmond Giant are racing against the clock, searching for the ideal derogatory moniker for Microsoft's "future generation" video game system, the Xbox. Success has been elusive thus far.

A select group of Microsoft trackers and bashers have gathered in Pensicola, Florida in an effort to find a slur that, in their own words, "has the perfect combination of catchiness and dissing factors".

"We've generated hundreds of candidates, but none have the 'sloth factor' we're looking for," said conference chairperson Cameron Harrington.

The 'sloth factor' refers to the wildly popular 'Microsloth' nickname - a name of unknown origin cited by many as the most perfect slur Microsoft slur of all time.

"It's easy to remember, it works phonetically and it cuttingly describes the slow-ass performance of Microsoft's software," explained Huffington.

While no "Microsloth" caliber slur has emerged yet, the group has not been entirely without success.

"We believe the term 'Xbux' pairs nicely with the widely-used 'Micro$oft' - a term often used by people who are offended by Microsoft's commitment to maximizing profits for shareholders," noted Harrington. "But it's not quite the Holy Grail we are looking for".

Harrington and his associates are hampered, in part, by the fact that none of them have actually used an Xbox, and therefore lack any starting points for attempted wordplays.

"I mean, we know it sucks because Microsoft makes it - that is perfectly obvious. But we are lacking critical details as to its exact level and aspects of suckitude".

Harrington has promised they will work around the clock until a suitable slur is found.

"If you're that 'Microsloth' guy, please IM me like now," added Harrington.

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Written by mike popovic <editor@bedope.com> [ Author Info ]