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Article Archive - Be Dope - 5 April - 10 April, 1999
10 April, 3.10pm pdt
BeDC Special Report, Day I
Thousands of would-be BeDC conference attendess were disappointed as police barred the doors to the capacity-filled Crowne Plaza Cabana Hotel in Palo Alto, signaling the start of the conference.

Be Inc. CEO Jean-Louis Gassée began the General Session by emphasizing Be's positioning as the Media OS. To further illustrate his point, he delivered portions of his speech via interpretive dance, which was fed via a sensor-equipped bodysuit into the BeOS, which then translated his movements into video effects and sound. Be Inc. VP Tim Self received a standing ovation for his presentation, which he sang acapella in the style of Bobby McFerrin.

An impressive demo of Quake II on the BeOS was not a huge surprise, considering the Be RailGun developers received along with their BeDC tshirts.

Thomas Dolby closed the general session talking about his days as a Beatnik, and how he, Jack Kerouac and others dreamed of the day of sharing song and stories via a web interface. While somewhat entertaining, many fans wished he would have played his big hit, "She Blinded Me With Science". No one requested it, possibly because Dolby was wearing a tshirt which read "Mention that 'Science' song and I will shoot you dead".

Developers then explored the open bar and the development lab (in that order). Due to their proximity, it was inevitable that the bar was soon hooked into a BeOS machine, which mixed perfect drinks all evening. The BeDC store sold thousands of stylish Be tshirts, hats, mousepads, condoms, mugs, pens and clipboards.

The two dozen lab machines were not left idle until late until the night as developers coded new ideas and engaged in huge games of networked Quake II on the BeOS.

Tune in tomorrow for part two of this report.

= Talk about this at BOSC =



7 April, 4.27pm pdt
Round-the-World Balloonists Credit BeOS
Brian Jones' first words as he set foot to earth after 20 days of circling the globe in a hot air balloon with his co-pilot Bertrand Piccard came as a surprise to the crowd gathered for the historic occassion.

"What, are we there already," Jones reportedly asked as he poked his head from the window of their high-tech gondola.

The high-tech gondola - about the size of two minivans - has a bunk, toilet, kitchen area, control panel, oxygen and nitrogen tanks, solar panels, satellite phones and most importantly two laptop computers running the BeOS.

"The BeOS did such a good job at managing the on-board systems and flight plans, there was really little for us to worry about," said Jones.

So trouble-free was the flight that the pair had a chance to begin development of an advanced meteorology program for the BeOS.

"I predict the BeOS will own the weather forecasting market by the year 2002," said Piccard, speaking at a ceremony honoring them in Washington, D.C.

The duo won US$1,000,000 for their feat, half of which will go towards establishing a BeOS software development company to complete and market the code they began while in the air.

The balloon, known as the Breitling Orbiter 3, will arrive at the Be campus for permanent display after exhibits in Switzerland and London.

= Talk about this at BOSC =



6 April, 5.34pm pdt
Martial Law Declared In Palo Alto
California governor Grey Davis has declared a state of emergency for Palo Alto, a city in chaos. Davis cites the upcoming BeDC as the cause.

"Traffic has been piling up for days, and people have been storming the Cabana Hotel, hoping to obtain the remaining [BeDC] tickets that will be available at the door," said Davis.

Until the BeDC wraps up on Saturday, only residents of Palo Alto and attendees of the BeDC showing proper ID at strategic checkpoints will be allowed into the city. CalTrain service is suspended, and a midnight curfew has been put into place. The National Guard has the authority to shoot violators on sight.

"These measures are necessary for the safety of our citizens, and most importantly for the safety of our BeOS developers," Davis explained.

= Talk about this at BOSC =



5 April, 5.55pm pdt
Jetson Pleads For Mercy, BeOS
George Jetson, a cartoon character from the future, pleaded for mercy today as he was forced to shoot another series of commercials for Radio Shack.

"I'm from a civilization of advanced technology," sobbed Jetson. "Please stop forcing me to endorse these products, any of which my boy Elroy could have built for his second-grade science class."

While enjoying a greater technolgy than we do in present-day earth, Jetson's agent was unaware the levels to which our legal expertise had risen. Thus, Jetson's entire life was signed away to Hanna-Barbera for a negligable salary and frequent private visits with Rosie the Robot.

Some products Jetson would be proud to endorse are the BeOS, any make/model of flying car and My-T-Fine Pudding.

= Talk about this at BOSC =




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